182. What Priya Couldn't Understand

When Priya was doing her homework, Sarada, a neighbour came to see Priya's mother Valli.

Both were chatting about various topics. Priya was able to hear some words. Though she was focused on doing her home work, some of the things heard by her attracted her attention.

Initially, the two women were talking about matters relating to their own families. The conversation then turned to matters relating to other people, living in the neighbourhood. 

"I have never seen another supercilious woman like Thangam" said Valli. 

"I don't know much about her. But I have heard that she is somewhat arrogant" said Sarada.

"Not only arrogant, but also conceited. She hails from a poor family. His father has been earning his livelihood, by working as a low-paid accountant in a shop. Till recently, her husband had also been struggling, with his business not doing well. But, suddenly he had a stroke of luck and his business took off. He has become wealthy now. After that, this woman started behaving as if she was born rich."

"I hear that she visits you often" said Sarada.

"She does. She needs to boast about her new acquisitions and extravagant spending to someone!"

"Oh! That means, like me, she is also a friend of you!" said Sarada.

"I can't say she is a friend. My husband helped her husband a lot, when he had been struggling with financial problems. Thangam's husband is grateful to my husband. She has also been trying to show that she has not forgotten our help. But she has a circle of friends, who would keep flattering her. She would be in their midst most of the time. She is friendly with me, only to please her husband."

"I think her parents-in-law are living with her" asked Sarada, turning the conversation to another aspect of Thangam's life.

"Oh, it is a pity. She treats them like slaves. They have to eat whatever food she serves them and keep quiet. They have no say in their family affairs."

Priya found the conversation distracting. But there was no place in her house, where she could sit quietly, away from the talk. She also enjoyed the distraction, since it gave her some relief from the boredom of the homework. 

Sarada left after some time. 

After sometime, there was a knock on the door. Priya went to the door and opened it.

Thangam aunty!

'It was about her that mom was talking to Sarada aunty, a few minutes back.'

"Come in, aunty!" said Priya. 

Presently, Valli came from inside the house.

"Oh, Thangam! Welcome! Nowadays, you come to my house only rarely" said Valli and took Thangam inside.

Priya was distracted again, this time by the conversation between Valli and Thangam, making it difficult for her to concentrate on her homework. 

Since Thangam spoke in a low voice, Priya couldn't hear most of what she said. She could only hear her repeatedly addressing Valli as akkaa*, respectfully.

But, Priya was able to hear her mother's words clearly.

"Just now, I was speaking to Sarada about you. I was telling her, 'We can't find another humble person like Thangam. She brought luck to her husband. It was only after marrying her that there was a turnaround in the fortunes of his business. They are now one of the wealthiest families in the town. But, both the husband and wife are so humble, kind and helpful.'"

"We are like we always were in the past. What is remarkable about it?" replied Thangam. Priya had to guess some of the words, Thangam's voice being so low.

"Everyone in our town appreciates the way you take care of your parents-in-law. You look after them so nicely. You won't allow them to do any work. You take care to see that they are comfortable and happy.Your modesty is exemplary. Even women with a little education act with an air of superiority. But, in spite of having a college education, you are modest and humble, like a village girl" said Valli. 

Thangam left after a while. 

After Thangam had left, Priya asked her mother, "Mom! Just a few minutes back, while conversing with Sarada aunty, you spoke ill of Thangam aunty. But, while talking to Thangam aunty, you praised her!" 

"You can't say bad things about a person to the person's face. Courtesy requires that we say good things about a person, while conversing with that person" said Valli.

"Then, why should you speak ill of a person behind the person's back? You could have refrained from saying anything, whether good or bad about Thangam aunty to Sarada aunty. After all, you have been having a good relationship with Thangam aunty. In such a case, is it not wrong to speak badly about her to others?" asked Priya.

"You can't understand these things. Complete your home work" said Valli, with irritation in her voice. 

*akka - elder sister

Thirukkural
Section 1
The Path of Virtue

Chapter 19
Refraining From Backbiting

Verse 182 (In Tamil)

aRan azhI allavai seydhalin thIdhE
puRan azhI poyththu nagai.

Meaning:

To wear a deceitful smile in one’s presence but to slander him in his absence slaughtering his reputation, is more heinous than giving up all that is virtuous and doing unrighteous deeds.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'priyAvukkup puriyAdha vishayam' by the same author)

Verse 183 (Soon)
Verse 181