629. A Lesson From Tulsi Leaves

"How true are Avvaiyar's* lines 'Poverty is cruel. Poverty during the younger age is still more cruel!'" I exclaimed.

"Is it so?" asked my friend Alagesan.

"What do you know about poverty? You are a person who can afford to use rose water for taking bath and milk to gargle your mouth!" I retorted. 

"But I take bath in cold water. If I have to gargle, I will use salt water. I eat rice and gravy like you do. My lunch box contains idli covered with a paste of chilli powder and oil, just as your lunch box does!" said Alagesan, laughing.

"You can talk lightly about life. Only if you had suffered from the pangs of poverty like I had, you would have realized the agony poverty would cause. As a boy, I have watched my father and mother fight over a few pennies. Can you believe it?"

"My parents also used to fight over several things."

"What did they fight about - whether to drive to the beach or to go to a movie in the car?" I asked sarcastically. 

Alagesan was not provoked by my outbursts. He laughed, as if he enjoyed my humour.

Though I often prided myself about having scored over Alagesan in the sparing contest, deep in my heart, I realized that I had been rhetorical, rather than reasonable.

Alagesan and I were classmates in our school. Alagesan hailed from a family for whom money would never be an issue. In contrast, our family had been struggling to meet both ends meet. 

For some reason, a strong bond of friendship had developed between Alagesan and me.

Even though I have always considered Alagesan my friend, I would, now and then vent out my grudge against him that sprouted out of my jealousy, resulting from my comparing the economic status of both of us. 

I should have discerned even at that time that though Alagesan, having been born in a wealthy family, was in a position to enjoy the good things of life, he was more interested in enjoying the company of friends like me than in enjoying the comforts he could get by spending money. But, the jealousy that was underlying in the deep layers of my mind had blinded me to his sense of detachment.

His magnanimity in not getting hurt by my snide remarks, combined with his geniality and the affection he had for me, had gradually pushed out my feelings of jealousy and made me reciprocate his geniality and friendliness.

They say that time is a great leveler. It acted as one in our lives.

After competing my studies, I landed a plum job, earned well and attained a fairly high financial status, in a few years.

The reverse happened to Alagesan. Even before Alagesan could complete his studies, his father suffered a heavy loss in his business. Within a short period, the wealthy family was reduced to a lower middle class family.

Alagesan could not get a good job. He was sticking on to a mediocre job he was able to get and was just surviving.

The friendship between Alagesan and me remained as strong as it was during our school days.

I felt a sense of pride and satisfaction in continuing to be a close friend of Alagesan, even after the steep fall in his economic status, by contrasting my jealousy towards him, when he was wealthy.

"Don't you feel frustrated by comparing your present position to the wealthy state you were in during your younger days?" I asked him. 

"I have no such feelings" said Alagesan. "I have always had the attitude of accepting what comes to me. You know that I go to the temple every day. In the temple, they will offer Tulsi leaves as prasadam**. Some days, the Tulsi leaves will be fresh and green. When I munch the leaves, I will experience a stimulating taste. But, some other days, the Tulsi leaves would be dry. They would taste bitter. But, I would always accept the Tulsi leaves as God's offering, munch the leaves and eat them, not minding the bitter taste. I have been adopting a similar attitude to the experiences that happen to me in my life. My mother had taught me this lesson in my childhood. I think that that lesson is deeply ingrained in my mind. That may be the reason why I have been able to accept misfortunes with equanimity."

Reflecting that I had been jealous of a person with such a noble attitude, I felt ashamed.

* Avvaiyar - A female Tamil poet

** prasadam - a food item offered to the idol in Hindu temples, then distributed to the devotees as a divine offering.

Thirukkural
Section 2

Materialism

Chapter 63
Unfazed in the Face of Trouble

Verse 629 (in Tamil):
inbaththuL inbam vizhaiyAdhAn thunbaththuL
thunbam uRudhal ilan.

Meaning:

He who does not yearn for pleasure in joyous times, will not

be distressed in times of sorrow.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'thuLasi pirasAdham' by the same author.) 

Verse 630 (Soon)
Verse 628