447. A Guide Called Grandfather

"Are you stupid? How did you get into the smoking habit at this age?" 

This was how my grandfather scolded me, when I was fifteen, after he found out that I had been smoking, stealthily.

I remember my grandmother pleading with him to forgive me, saying, "He is just a boy. Somehow, he had been drawn to this vice. Don't be harsh on him."

I could see the tears at the corners of her eyes. After all, she knew how strict and how unforgiving my grandfather had been. She would have feared that my grandfather would beat me severely, for what I had done.

"His parents are not living. It is my duty to bring him up properly" my grandfather told my grandmother. 

He then turned to me and warned me, in astern voice "Hey, if you smoke one more cigarette, you won't get food in this house. You have to live on cigarettes alone."

I gave up smoking, at that very moment.

"I understand that you feel indebted to your grandparents, since they brought you up from the time you were a child. I appreciate the respect and love you have for them. Your grandfather is eighty years old now and you are thirty. But, you still ask for his advice on various maters. If he thinks what you are doing is wrong, he scolds you, as if you are a small boy! You listen to his berating happily. I feel very bad, witnessing such events. Even our five year old boy asks me, 'Mom, why is grandfather scolding dad?' I think you should cut down your interactions with him" said my wife.

"It was due to my grandfather's strict upbringing of me that I became disciplined and responsible and came up in my life. I have grown to the level of running my own business. Even at this stage of my life, I find it useful to seek my grandfather's counsel, before taking decisions on certain important matters. Though he doesn't know anything about my business, he has the wisdom to guide me, in deciding what is good and what is not. He will not hesitate to pull me up, if he thinks that I have chosen a wrong path. When I was studying in the college, I was trapped in the illusion of love. My grandfather made me understand that at that age I didn't have the maturity to take a decision about my marriage and helped me extricate myself from an impulsive decision I was about to make. That is how I ended up marrying a wonderful person like you, after a few years. My grandfather has been growing old. I don't know how long I will be able to have his wisdom and counsel. I am wondering, after his time, who will guide me help me tread the right path" I told my wife.

Thirukkural

Section 2

Materialism

Chapter 44
Condemnation of Faults

Verse 447 (in Tamil):

idikkum thuNaiyArai ALvArai yArE
kedukkum thagaimaiyavar.

Meaning:

None can harm the ruler, who seeks the wholesome counsel of his ministers, even if it is hard-hitting.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'ungaLaip pOl oruvar' by the same author.)

Verse 448
Verse 446