58. Suguna's Questions

Unlike Karthik who revered monks clad in saffron clothes and listened to their discourses, his wife Suguna didn't have much faith in monks and saints.

But when Saint Meyyananda came to her town, Suguna went to his discourse. This was because Meyyananda had a reputation for answering any question fielded to him without skirting them or bypassing them. His answers were straightforward and sometimes shocking because they carried naked truths.

After completing his discourse, Meyyananda began to answer the questions posed by the audience.

When Suguna got the chance to ask a question, she asked him, "Swamiji! They say our scriptures have prescribed four stages of life, namely brahmacharya, grahasta, vAnaprasta and sanyAsa*. But these are only for men. Why is it that women are not covered under these four stages?"

"There are three reasons for this. One, if these stages were prescribed for both men and women, a man and his wife might choose to adopt different stages of life at a particular time. When the husband wants to adopt to vAnaprasta, the wife may prefer to continue in grahasta phase! This will create disharmony in the family.

"Men have stopped following this system since long. Unlike men, women are steadfast in following the customs and systems. So, if women had been covered under this system, they would still be following it, the way they have been following various vratas (vows) like fasting on ekadasi** etc. That would have created disharmony in the family and by extension in the society. May be our ancestors didn't want this to happen! This is the second reason.

"The third reason is that ours is a male-dominated society. Of these three reasons, the third reason is most significant!"

The saint laughed aloud and the audience joined him in his laughter.

"Swamiji! It is said that one has to go through these four stages of life to attain salvation. Does it mean women will have no salvation?" asked Suguna.

"Women are blessed with the opportunity of delivering a child to this world through their body. Can there be a greater salvation than this?"

The audience laughed again

"I am not saying this in a lighter vein. Truly, nothing can be a greater privilege to a woman than her acting as a channel for bringing a new life into this world" said Meyyananda.

Suguna remained silent, her face expression showing that she was not satisfied with the answer she got.

Meyyananda looked at her and remarked, "You don't seem to be satisfied with the answer I gave!"

"No, I am not!" said Suguna.

The crowd looked at her, shocked by her brazenness.

"Just because women are blessed with the privilege of motherhood, it doesn't mean that they are denied salvation. Unlike men, women have the opportunity of attaining heaven without the need to go through the four stages of life. They don't have any prescription for this" clarified the saint.

"Does it mean women don't have to do anything to attain salvation?" asked Suguna.

"Yes. It is enough if a woman just looks after her husband and her family with care and attention. But if you are going to say, 'Oh, that is a herculean task. Retiring to the forest and doing penance there under severe conditions will be much easier than this.' you won't be wrong!"

Even as the rest of the audience was pondering whether the monk's statement was to be greeted with laughter. Suguna laughed out aloud, with the monk joining her.

* brahmacharya - bachelorhood, 
   grahasta-marital life
   vAnapasta = retiring to the forest to live a secluded life

   sanyAsa - renunciation

** ekadasi - 11th day after the full moon or new moon.   

Thirukkural
Section 1
The Path of Virtue

Chapter 6
The Worth of A Wife

Verse 58 (In Tamil)

peRRAR peRin peRuvar peNdir perum siRappup
puththELir vAzhum ulagu.

Meaning:

A woman who looks after her husband and family well will attain heaven inhabited by the celestials.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'kELvi varumbOdhu badhil onRu vENdum' by the same author)

Verse 59
Verse 57