53. The Magic of a Wife

"Is Pazhani at home?" asked Shanmugam, standing at the doorstep of his elder brother Pazhani's house. 

"When has your brother come home early? Why do you ask for him? Are you going to ask him for any loan" asked Sivakami. 

"Had I ever asked for a loan from my brother?" asked Shanmugam, feeling hurt.

"How do I know about the dealings between the two of you? If your brother lent any money to you, would he tell me about it?"

At that time, Pazhani came there from outside. Seeing his brother Shanmugam standing outside his house, he asked Shanmugam, "Why are you standing outside?" Then he looked inside and asked his wife Sivakami, "Won't you ask him to come in, sit and wait for me?"

"Is he an outsider? He is your brother? Does he need an invite from me to come in?" said Sivakami, nonchalantly.

She then went into the kitchen.

"Make some coffee for us!" said Pazhani in a loud voice.

The two brothers got seated and began conversing.

"As you know, I am now in the process of getting the invitations printed for my son Shankar's wedding. As per the traditional format, we have to include our family details including our family title, our grandfather's name etc. I don't know these details. So, I wanted to get these details from you" said Shanmugam.

"I will give them. By the way, I wanted to ask you this. Shankar is highly educated and well placed in a good job. You would have received marriage proposals from many wealthy families. But why did you choose a girl from a poor family? The girl has no education or job either!" asked Pazhani.

"Brother! I am not a rich person, either. My wife Vadivu is also from a poor family. But we have been leading a happy life. Vadivu was the guiding force behind my son pursuing an Engineering education and getting a good job. She has been managing our family adroitly with my limited means. She has also provided funds for Sankar's education from the money she has been saving over the years. This is what made me decide that while looking for a bride for Sankar, I should look for a bride who will be wise and prudent rather than one hailing from a wealthy family. Sankar likes the bride chosen by us. The bride also likes Sankar. The present times are different from the times we got married. We had to marry the girl chosen by our parents. We were not given a chance to get acquainted with the bride before the marriage! Sankar and his fiancee have been meeting each other and have developed a good understanding of each other. Won't you agree that for a good marriage, mutual understanding between the boy and the girl, not their financial background, is important?" said Shanmugam.

Pazhani reflected on the contrast between his family life and his Shanmugam's. 

'Unlike my brother Shanmugam, I am wealthy. But am I happy? Sivakami's self-centred and arrogant nature has been causing frequent turmoils in our family life. Our only daughter Lata became disenchanted with her mother's attitude and chose to study in a town far from this place by staying in a hostel, though she had opportunities to study in a nearby town and commute to the college from our home. After completing her studies, she has taken up a job in that town. She rarely visits us. Whenever I broach the subject of her marriage, she is evasive. I think Shanmugam's approach in finding a suitable bride for his son is appropriate.'

Pazhani wrote down the details sought by Shanmugam on a piece of paper and handed it over to him.

It was when Shanmugam took leave of him that Pazhani realized Sivakami didn't bring them the coffee he had asked for!

Thirukkural
Section 1
The Path of Virtue

Chapter 6
The Worth of A Wife

Verse 52 (In Tamil)

illadhen illavaL mANbAnAl uLLathen
illavaL mANakkadai.

Meaning:

If the wife has the qualities suited for family life,

what is it that one doesn't have? If not, what is it that one has?

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'manaivi seyyum mAyam' by the same author)

Verse 54

Verse 52