When his mother said, "We will convey our decision through a letter in a couple of days" and began to leave, Sekar intervened, saying, "Why should we delay conveying our decision? I like the girl. If the girl likes me, the two families can confirm the decision to perform our marriage."
His parents didn't like his attempt to bypass the tradition. His father shot down his suggestion, with the reprimand, "You can't expect the girl to announce her decision abruptly, the way you have done. She may like to convey her decision to her parents in private. The system of conveying the decision through letter after a few days of deliberation on either side has been created by our ancestors, after considering various aspects!"
After two days, my father received a letter from Sekar's father informing him that they liked me and that we could proceed further on fixing a date for the marriage and doing other arrangements.
Those days, the girl's consent was never considered necessary. If the boy liked the girl, the girl's parents would go ahead and perform the marriage.
However, I had no reason to dislike Sekar. So, I was happy to learn that he and his parents liked me.
Sekar came to our house, a couple of days after our marriage was finalized. I thought he had come to see me. But that was not the case. He had come to meet my father to give him some suggestions about fixing a hall to perform our marriage!
"Don't be in a hurry to fix some marriage hall at high rent. Many people don't know that there are quite a few good halls which offer good facilities at a reasonable rent. A friend of mine knows about such marriage halls. I will give you his phone number. If you talk to him, he will help you fix a good hall at a low rent."
My father was exhilarated that Sekar had so much concern for him, even before marrying me.
I began to understand the character of Sekar, after our marriage. He came forward to help my father not because he was the father of the girl he was going to marry. He would have extended that kind of help even to a stranger! That was Sekar's nature.
I began to understand the character of Sekar, after our marriage. He came forward to help my father not because he was the father of the girl he was going to marry. He would have extended that kind of help even to a stranger! That was Sekar's nature.
Sekar had a habit of taking interest in the affairs of people not acquainted with him. He would volunteer to help them. Because of his habit of helping people, he gained the friendship of many people, many of whom frequented our house. As a result, we had a constant stream of visitors to our house. Extending my hospitality to them became my major preoccupation!
But I am not complaining. When my husband has been helping a lot of people, should I grumble about the trouble of making coffee for those who visit our house?
Once, when we were traveling on a train, a college girl travelling in the same compartment with her parents, was talking about her dream of studying abroad. Sekar offered to give her the information required and collected details about her.
On reaching home, he gathered information about studying abroad, through his friends and others. He collected comprehensive information covering all aspects of studying abroad like choosing the right coaching institute to prepare for the entrance tests, choosing the right college, sending the application, cracking the visa process, arranging for finance etc.
After a couple of weeks, he called up the girl's father and passed on the information to him. The girl's father was overwhelmed by the trouble Sekar had taken to collect all the information needed, based on a casual conversation during a train journey.
Making use of the information furnished by Sekar, that girl got admission into a college in the U.S, where she is studying now!
At least once in a week, she would call Sekar in the early mornings from the US and talk to him. Her father would call him at least once in a month and keep thanking him repeatedly.
Even as the incidents from the time Sekar came to see me are fresh in memory, time has been flowing. Sekar is retiring from his job today!
There is a saying, 'If you show concern to others' children, your children will grow on their own,' As if proving the truth of this saying, our son and daughter had completed their studies, got jobs and got married, without much of an effort from us!
When Sekar came home after attending the send-off party at his office, some of his close friends came along with him.
One of them told me, "Mrs. Sekar! We have never had such a grand send-off party in our office. Even the send-off party given to our General Manager, when he retired last month, which is considered the grandest in recent history, paled into insignificance compared to the party arranged for Sekar today. Even we, who have been very close to him for the past several years are amazed at the popularity of Sekar and the love and affection others have for him. He has a lot of friends outside the office also. He is like a magnet that attracts people. I wonder whether any person could earn so many friends during his life time!"
'He could, if only he has love and concern for other people' I told myself and went into the kitchen to make coffee for Sekar's friends.
'He could, if only he has love and concern for other people' I told myself and went into the kitchen to make coffee for Sekar's friends.
Thirukkural
Section 1
The Path of Virtue
Section 1
The Path of Virtue
Chapter 8
Love and Affection
Love and Affection
Verse 73 (In Tamil)
anbu Inum Arvam udaimai adhu Inum
naNbu ennum nAdAch chiRappu.
naNbu ennum nAdAch chiRappu.
Meaning:
If one has love for others, one will have concern for their welfare. This concern will yield a valuable asset called friendship.
(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'sEkarin naNbargaL' by the same author)
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