Some people would just convey their appreciation. Some would ask simple questions and some others would ask what they consider to be intelligent or even tricky questions. It would take Narayanan at least fifteen minutes to descend from the stage, after patiently listening to all, who would number fifteen on an average, and answering some, if necessary,
That day, one person was still standing near the edge of the stage, after every one else had left.
That day, one person was still standing near the edge of the stage, after every one else had left.
"Yes, please" prompted Narayanan.
"I want to speak to you, in private. If I talk to you now, it may be late for you. Where can I meet you?" he asked.
"You can talk to me now. If you want privacy, we can go inside."
"You can talk to me now. If you want privacy, we can go inside."
Narayanan led him to a room, adjoining the stage.
After taking his seat inside the room, he told Narayanan, "You are a great scholar, Swamiji!"
After taking his seat inside the room, he told Narayanan, "You are a great scholar, Swamiji!"
"Don't call me, Swamiji. I am an ordinary person. I am employed in the government, for eking out a living. In the evenings, I share what I have read and heard, with people. That's all. You seem to be an elite person. But you talk so politely. Perhaps, I should address you as 'Swamiji!'" said Narayanan.
"I cannot speak in a polite and gentle way, like you, Swamii. I am a person who can't hold his temper."
"Don't call me, Swamiji. You can call me 'sir.' Isn't is the way we address each other in our society? You said that you are short-tempered. If I ask you what your name is, will you get angry?"
"If I say my name is Santhamurthy**, will you laugh?"
"I think you are not capable of getting angry!" said Narayanan.
"I think you are not capable of getting angry!" said Narayanan.
"I am an industrialist. I have about one hundred employees, working in my company. If something goes wrong, I will become very angry. I will lambast my employees, using strong words. From senior managers to low level employees, I have expressed my anger to every one. Hurt by my display of anger, quite a few good employees have left me. Sometimes, I have shouted at my customers also. This has resulted in my losing some good business opportunities too!"
"When I find that you have been speaking to me about your problem so calmly, I find it difficult to believe that you are a short-tempered person. Ok, what do you expect from me? If I explain
some verses in the scriptures about the need to contain one's anger, will it bring about a change in you?"
some verses in the scriptures about the need to contain one's anger, will it bring about a change in you?"
"I know that I can't change immediately. But I am hopeful that if I listen to your discourse quite often, I will experience a transformation over a period of time."
"I am happy to hear you say so. But I think that you wanted to ask me something."
"Yes, I have a question. But I didn't want to ask that question in the presence of every one. If I ask you the question, you will give me an answer. I will ask you a counter-question and it may lead to an argument. And in the course of the argument, I may show my anger at you. I wanted to avoid this and hence asked for a private audience."
"When you are taking so much precaution to see that you shouldn't display your anger, while talking to me, you should be able to control your anger."
"Yes, I have a question. But I didn't want to ask that question in the presence of every one. If I ask you the question, you will give me an answer. I will ask you a counter-question and it may lead to an argument. And in the course of the argument, I may show my anger at you. I wanted to avoid this and hence asked for a private audience."
"When you are taking so much precaution to see that you shouldn't display your anger, while talking to me, you should be able to control your anger."
"Acting with precaution might have been the result of my experience in planning meetings for my business. But I don't know when I will get angry and start yelling at the other person. I may get angry even at your countering my point. Now, let me ask you the question that I had wanted to. In today's discourse, you said that if we lose our temper while talking to others, we will have to suffer many losses. Additionally, we may also forfeit the opportunity to reach heaven, which we have gained through our good deeds."
"Yes. Speaking in a way to hurt other people's minds is a sin. It may even deprive us of the benefits of our good deeds. That is what the scriptures say. Why do you doubt this?"
"The logic of this concept is not clear to me. Let us say, I hurt a customer's mind by using harsh words against him. Because of this action of mine, I lose the business I would have got from him. This is a loss suffered by me. I have suffered the consequence of my action. Then, why should this affect the benefits I would get from my good deeds too? Does this not amount to punishing me twice for the same sin?" asked Santhamurthy,
Narayanan thought for a while.
"Has there ever been a strike in your factory?" he asked Santhamurthy.
"Yes. There has been once."
"I think you would have cut the wages of your employees for the days they had struck work."
"Of course, I did. There is no concept of strike with pay!"
"Did you give any other punishment to the workers who struck work?"
"Did you give any other punishment to the workers who struck work?"
"I dismissed two of the employees. For others, I cut the increment for one year."
"The workers who struck work suffered the punishment of losing their wages. Then, why did they lose their increments and jobs? Does it not amount to double punishment?"
"The workers who struck work suffered the punishment of losing their wages. Then, why did they lose their increments and jobs? Does it not amount to double punishment?"
Santhamurthy reflected on this question.
"For any action, there will be an immediate consequence and a long term consequence. If you suffer injuries from an accident, the injuries will be there for a while and will then be healed. But, our body might have suffered other consequences from the accident. We will know about these only after a long time. In the same way, if we hurt someone with harsh words, the displeasure of that person and our losses due to that displeasure are the immediate consequences. Forfeiting the benefits of our good deeds is a long term consequence" explained Narayanan.
Santhamurthy was thoughtful for a while. The he asked Narayanan, "Let us look at the other side of this. If we talk to other people using pleasant words, will it result in both short term and long term benefits."
"For any action, there will be an immediate consequence and a long term consequence. If you suffer injuries from an accident, the injuries will be there for a while and will then be healed. But, our body might have suffered other consequences from the accident. We will know about these only after a long time. In the same way, if we hurt someone with harsh words, the displeasure of that person and our losses due to that displeasure are the immediate consequences. Forfeiting the benefits of our good deeds is a long term consequence" explained Narayanan.
Santhamurthy was thoughtful for a while. The he asked Narayanan, "Let us look at the other side of this. If we talk to other people using pleasant words, will it result in both short term and long term benefits."
"Definitely!"
"What are they?"
"The pleasure we get in this birth is the short term benefit. The pleasure we get in our next birth will be the long term benefit" said Narayanan.
"The pleasure we get in this birth is the short term benefit. The pleasure we get in our next birth will be the long term benefit" said Narayanan.
*Swamiji is a term used to address revered people, especially spiritual leaders.
**Santhamurthy, in Sanskrit, means an embodiment of calmness.
Thirukkural
Section 1
The Path of Virtue
Section 1
The Path of Virtue
Chapter 10
Speaking Pleasantly
Speaking Pleasantly
Verse 98 (In Tamil)
siRumaiyavy nIngiya insol maRumaiyum
immaiyum inbam tharum.
immaiyum inbam tharum.
Meaning:
Sweet words, devoid of pettiness, spite or offense will give us pleasure both in this birth and in our next birth.
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