627. What my Father Learnt From My Mother

My mother has not been well. She has been bed-written for the past two years, lying in the hospital bed for some days intermittently and in a bed at our home, during the other days.

My has been sitting near my mother most of the time. Both would be conversing for a long time. I wondered what they talked about for such lengths of time.

When I am at home with my wife Charu, we won't have matters to talk about for more than a few minutes. Even during those few minutes, we would be talking about problems like some home appliance needing repairs, the air-conditioner not giving enough cooling, issues relating to our children's school education etc.

We would feel gratified that we didn't have problems needing discussion for more than a few minutes.

"How is your health?" I asked my mother.

My mother nodded her head, trying to give me a positive signal, but her nod only signaled her physical weakness.

"As always" said my father. "Sometimes, she is calm. Some other times, she is suffering from pain."

I signaled to my father to follow me. We both came out of the room and seated ourselves in the living room.

"Dad! At a time mom is suffering from pain, you have been sitting near her and talking to her. Will it not give her more strain?" I asked my father.

"My sitting near her and talking to her makes her happy. In fact, it gives her some relief!" replied my father.

"It is amazing to me how mom has been conversing with you cheerfully, while she is under so much pain!"

"Your mother has always been that way. I am a person who would be perturbed even by a small obstacle or even an inconvenience. It was your mother who would speak to me in an encouraging way and uplift my spirits. If someone in our family fell sick, I would start worrying. But, your mother would tell me, 'the human body is bound to suffer some illness now and then. Don't appliances like TV and Mixer malfunction? Sometimes, they can be fixed with some minor repairing and some other times, they would need an intense repairing. Some times, they could not be repaired at all and have to be discarded' and laugh. 

"Whenever I encountered problems in my job or in the family or faced financial problems, she would counsel me in a similar way. 'When you commute to your office every day in your scooter, are you able to ride non-stop? Are you not stopped at different places by traffic signals? Sometimes, the tyre gets punctured or the vehicle breaks down. Don't you leave the vehicle there, go by bus or autorickshaw, get the scooter repaired and then resume using it? We should accept things that normally happen to us in life.' This is the kind of advice she would give me.

"In the beginning, I was irritated by her words. I would hit back saying, 'it is easy for you to sit at home and advise me. Only the person who faces a problem will understand the pain!'

"But, over the years, I began to realize the truth of her words and changed my attitude gradually. After that, I found that facing and overcoming problems was easier. If your mother is able to maintain her cheerful disposition in spite of the torment she has been suffering because of the health issues, it is due to her attitude that being challenged by problems is a normal thing in our lives."

My mother has spoken to me many times the way she had, to my father. But, I didn't ponder over her words. Only after hearing my father say how my mother's advice had helped him, I began to understand the importance of the life lessons my mother tried to inculcate in me.  

"I have to learn a lot from mom, dad. Hereafter, I will also sit near mother for sometime every day and listen to her words of wisdom" I told my father.

"Start doing it immediately. I think you are not left with much time" said my father.

Thirukkural
Section 2

Materialism

Chapter 63
Unfazed in the Face of Trouble

Verse 627 (in Tamil):
ilakkam udambu idumbaikku enRu kalakkaththaik
kaiyARAk koLLAdhAm mEL.

Meaning:

Knowing that the human body is ever a target for afflictions,

the wise will not be distressed by distress.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'ammAvin udal nilai' by the same author.) 

Verse 628 (Soon)
Verse 626