122. Conceited?

"What is the point of being a renowned scientist, if he doesn't know how to respect other people? Conceited and arrogant!" Sambandham, burst out angrily.

"Whom are you talking about?" asked his friend Guna.

"It's only about our great friend, the genius called Dr. Sekar!"

"What about him?"

"Our college wants to felicitate Sekar. Our Principal called me and said, 'Sekar was your classmate. Please talk to him and get his consent for participating in the Felicitation function being organized by our college.' I felt excited, called up Sekar, told him about our proposal and asked for his consent to participate in the function. But he acted strange!"

"How? Did he say no?" asked Guna, surprised.

"Yes. And he spoke to me insultingly, as if I had offended him by making this request. He is a renowned scientist, known all over India. But, what are we, after all? We are mediocre people with little education, holding on to some job in a college and eking out our living. It is natural for him to look down upon us" said Sambandham, expressing his disappointment.

"First of all, we are not in a state of mediocracy. You and I are well educated and well employed as professors in a well known college. Secondly, Sekar is not a person who would have an attitude of looking down upon people" said Guna.

"It has been several years since you had met Sekar. Do you expect him to be the same person that was always sticking to you in the college, like a child to its mother? He has changed. Have you ever wondered why he didn't contact us even once all these years?"

"We have not been touch with our classmates who were close to us in the college. Since you and I are working in the same college, we remain close. It is true that Sekar and I were intimate in the college. But, I have also not tried to contact him afterwards. Since he is a reputed person, we keep hearing about him. Otherwise, we wouldn't have known his whereabouts. So, we can't fault him alone for having not been in touch. Did you speak to him over phone?"

"Yes. As you know, he lives in Hyderabad."

"You spoke to him over phone after several years. You can't judge him based on your telephonic conversation with him. I am going to Hyderabad next week. At that time, I will meet him in person and talk to him about this" said Guna.

"Let us see whether he accepts the invitation, if it comes through you!" said Sambandham, sounding skeptical.

When Guna called up Sekar while he was in Hyderabad, Sekar spoke to him enthusiastically. He invited Guna to his house for dinner.

When Guna went to Sekar's house, both the friends were delighted at meeting each other after a long time. They conversed heartily for a long time. 'How did Sambandham consider him conceited!' wondered Guna.

"Sambandham invited you to our college to participate in a function to felicitate you, but you declined his invitation. Why?" asked Guna.

Sekar's face expression changed immediately. "Let us not talk about it" he said.

"Why? Do you have any grievance against Sambandam?'

"No way. It has been several years since we saw each other. How could I have any grievance against him?"

"But he got an impression that you spoke to him in a disrespectful manner."

"Yes. I might have spoken to him somewhat harshly."

"Why did you speak to him like that?"

"Guna! I hope you will understand me. I have to be very cautious."

"Cautious about what?"

"Well. I don't know whether I can explain this to you clearly. If I had politely declined his invitation, what would have happened? He would have tried to persuade me in a stronger way, thinking 'He says no initially, just as people normally do, but if I persuade him, he will accept.' After that, it would have been difficult for me to say no to him. Thinking that if I strongly decline his request even at the outset, he won't press me further, I declined his request in strong terms. That is the way I speak to people who approach me for felicitation, or who praise me for my achievements. This is the only way I will be able to block these kinds of felicitations and praises."

"Why are you so keen on preventing people from praising you? If someone praises you, you may listen to that praise politely and thank that person!"

"You don't understand my thinking. People who have money deposit hem in the bank. They keep their jewelry in the bank lockers. Why?"

"They do it for safety. They want to protect their money or jewelry from being stolen. "

"In the same way, I want to safeguard the asset I have."

"What is that asset? Your intellect? How will your intellect be endangered by your listening to the praises showered on you by other people?"

"I don't know whether I have the asset you call intellect. I was referring to my sense of humility, which I consider the most precious asset I possess. It is only my cultivated belief, 'what I know is very little' that facilitates my continued learning. If I listen to these kinds of praises or felicitations, I will unconsciously develop a belief that I am a great person, I am somewhat special or superior to others in some way. Such a belief will destroy my humility. After that, I won't be able to learn anything, nor will I be able to use my thinking faculty effectively. That is why I am very cautious about safeguarding my precious asset called humility. Please make Sambandham understand this and ask him to forgive me."

Guna was surprised at the irony of the very humility of Sekar that he was keen on preserving, having been perceived as conceit by Sambandham!

Thirukkural

Section 1
The Path of Virtue

Chapter 13
Restraint

Verse 122 (In Tamil)

kAkka poruLA adakkaththi Akkam
adhanin Ungu illai uyirkku.

Meaning:

The attribute called 'humility' should be safeguarded as a precious treasure. Nothing can be more beneficial for the growth of a person.

(This is the English version of the Tamil story 'thimir pidiththavan' by the same author)

Verse 123 (Soon)
Verse 121